Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Well, that sucks!

I warn everyone upfront that this is going to be a whiny, self indulgent post.

What I havent told people is that for the last few months I have been feeling crappy. What I also didnt tell anyone was that I was so scared. I have been feeling unwell for quiet a while now, but passed it off as being a Mum, running around etc. The last month the pain has gotten a lot worse. I was so scared to go to the Doctor. When I finally went to the doctor he ordered some tests, me being me made the appointment & cancelled. After being shouted at ( you know who you are, & being made to promise to go ) I went. The ultrasound reveled enlarged lymph nodes. I left it again ( who has time to go to the doctor, it is school holidays ). I finally went & the doctor ordered some blood tests. I asked him if he need me to have them next month, he looked at me over his glasses & said today or tomorrow & I expect to see you in my office 3 days after the blood has been taken. Believe it or not I actually went back for the results. It appears that I have been tested postive for the Epstien Barr Virus. A yuccky little virus that is transmitted by mosqoitos. Among lots of things Epstein Barr Virus causes is Chronic Fatige Syndrome.

I know that this is not life threatening & there are so many people in the world that have worse than me, but it just sucks. It hurts, & I mean real pain in your muscels. I can handel the being tired crap, but what is pissing me off is my "I cant be bothered to do it" attitude. What sort of Mother cant be bothered to take her kids to the pool 30 meters away? What sort of Mother cant be bothered playing with her children? What sort of Mother resorts to frozen crap to serve for dinner? What sort of Mother cant remember what she did 15 mins ago? What sort of Mother just wants to laze on the couch & occasionally stitch & be left alone?

Told you that this would be a shithouse post.

4 Comments:

Blogger Leonie said...

Lots of hugs and get better soon thoughts coming your way. I've had Glandular Fever and the tiredness I can relate to. Don't forget to let others help you, and ask for help if you need it. Wish I was closer so I could be of some practical use. And if it makes you feel any better-all those "What kind of mother"-I do them occasionally and I'm not sick. Take care of yourself.

3:22 PM  
Blogger bells said...

BIG HUGS Mel! I hope you feel better soon! And don't be soooo hard on yourself...you are a wonderful mother! You're just going through a rough time right now, but everyone understands. Try and get in lots of rest, relaxation (and stitching...lol...) and I'm sure you'll be back to your old self before you know it! We all miss you around the BB, and can't wait for you to get back on your feet and whip all us serial starters back into shape..lol...
If you ever need to talk...you know where to find me!
BIGH HUGS, Nikki

11:59 AM  
Blogger HappyStitcher said...

I wondered where you had gone off to. Have a speedy recovery and quit being so hard on yourself as a Mom. In the great scheme of things all the issues you mentioned won't even be remembered by your kids. They will remember Mom was sick but none of the other stuff. Just recognize as a Mom that it's your job to worry about parenting and if you had all the energy to do all the things you wanted to then you would find something else to worry about....w

9:24 PM  
Blogger Branlaadee said...

Mel! I guess I need to browse the blogs more often. I hope you are feeling better now. Dont be so down on yourself. You are ill. You need to take care of yourself. You cant expect to take care of others if you wont take care of yourself. I have missed you around the BB. I hope you will soon be up to visiting us more often.

6:19 PM  

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