Monday, February 20, 2006

My life in the freak show

My life in the freak show
Divine Intervention

Ok, so after reading my last post, you can see that I really am out of the running for the Mother of the Year Award. I decided that drastic action needed to be taken, I decided that the kids needed to go to Church. To cut a long story short, Ben will be making his Holy Communion this year. After annoucing my decision, my husband was suddenly "busy". Ok, I thought 2 kids, we are going to Church. How hard can it be? Surely the kids will behave they know that Church is a "special" place. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ben & Jacinda fought all the way to the service ( e.g "Mum, Ben looked at me" NAH, Mum she looked at me!") I parked the car & the fighting continued & threatened to reach crescendo pitch if I did not take the little "Darlings" in hand.

" Right listen here you two" I hissed in an undertone, so the other parishioners would not see that I could not control my kids " You both need to be quiet, because people are here talking to God & they don't need to hear what heathans you both are!"

Done. They seemed to behave. What I didn't realize was that apparently it was acceptable to recline on the pews in Gods House. I didn't realize that it was acceptable to flash your cool Hi5 knickers in Gods house. I didn't realize that it was acceptable to shit stir your sibling in Gods House. Jacinda then decided to go one better while the priest was preparing communion & say at the top of her lungs " Errrrrrrrrrr, they are all drinking out of the same cup & sharing germs!". Before communion was offered, the priest came over & gave both the children a special blessing & laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. I high tailed it out of there as quick as I could & one dear old lady came up to me & said "Weren't they good kids during mass" Go figure.............

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